Ridiculous?

Last Monday I spoke to my boss (in a different time zone) and he
reassured me that he knows about the delay and I should know that he's
ok with it. And that I can't get anything done, and I shouldn't have
to be "busy just for the sake of being busy" because I'll soon be
quite busy enough....and I should go to the movies.

Since Monday I have received medical and dental cards with my name and
employer's name on them. I have also received a paycheck. And pay
stub.

But still no laptop.

This is not how I work. I'm easily distracted, sure, but I know the
pressure I have to *keep* a job this time around and I'm really
anxious to show my boss that he didn't make a mistake hiring me. But
my boss knows that I don't have a laptop yet. I feel "out of sight,
out of mind" which goes both ways (like, if I'm paid, I'm on the
payroll and I shouldn't make noise).

Complicating matters is that the co-owner of the place is the one
responsible for the laptop. So it's not like I'm going to call him out
on this.

I'm going to wait. Catch up on teevee, maybe pretend to clean my
house. But for the people that read this, I'm frustrated at my lack of
work, concerned that I made the wrong choice, and appalled that my
company is completely dragging their feet on this. And I *STILL* have
met only one of my cow orkers. Muh.

I'm not complaining.

Nope, I'm not. I shouldn't. But the second-guessing is killing me at the moment.

Two things

I realize that I need to WORK for my "me" time. It's not that I don't like being around my family but ... well ... sometimes it's a lot tougher than it looks. I'm exhausted as phuq right now but I don't have anyone else awake in the house, as Shigette is out with a friend. Om.

-------------------

I think I saw my former boss from the edumactional place leaving the train in my town on Wednesday. She lives in the same town that I live in, and I happen to know where exactly that happens to be. I keep expecting to run into her in town someplace but it's been 9 months since she gave me the boot. I wouldn't have known it was her but I had to look behind me when I heard her unmistakeable accent (although in this town, maybe not so much).

What would I say to her if we saw each other? And were forced to make small talk? I have actually considered this question a few times. The responses range from "Phuq you, you cnut, die in a fire." to "You really got rid of (other former cow orker)? Wow, I'm in great company, thanks for that lift." to "My life is super. And you're still at an 11 year old startup company that can't produce a product people want to buy."

And her response would probably be something HR'ey like "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "It's too bad how things ended" and I'd probably put my leg out in the aisle to trip her, and then step on her head on the way out.

Aah, just typing that made me feel good.

Full circle

I'm thinking about the bailouts that the government is giving to pretty much any company that asks for them.

And I'm now thinking they are bad ideas. All of them.

None, or very little of this money is going to individuals who need it. The ebb and flow of corporate America is in a down cycle and not much is going to change that ... or at least as quickly as it's needed. So, let the companies fail. What could happen? Unemployment would hit unimagined levels, tax rolls would dry up, the housing market and banking would collapse further, and nobody would be able to buy anything.

Then the government, if it wants to help things, should give money directly to the people that need it. I don't think very many people would be upset if some of the poorly-run economic niches (Banking, Auto industry, etc.) of this country would be demolished and new ones pop up in their places.

Not that I subscribe to her politics, but maybe Atlas Shrugged is really the way to go here. Get the intelligent people to make better products and drive the economy a bit better, no?

Purgatory

If I tell them they're jerking me around I don't have my best potential job opportunity.